


Again

by Bagel_San



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, enjoy., i got too hyped over them, porn with feelings., thats everything, thats it, them calling each other by name, this is just.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 12:43:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20724401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bagel_San/pseuds/Bagel_San
Summary: “Seems like I forgot to lock the do-““Riza.”It was only mumbled, had left his tongue before it was even properly formed.He wanted to continue saying her name, not ‘Lieutenant’. The distance between them should have been over after all they had gone through in the past.If he himself wasn’t that terribly embarrassed about the whole situation, he’d laugh about the red colour spreading across her cheeks.He was pretty much sure that he did not look any different.





	Again

**Author's Note:**

> yes I am a disaster for them YES I am horny, sue me xDD

Roy closed the door behind him with a soft ‘thud’, clicking it into the lock.  
He’d been here before. Not often, but sometimes. He still remembered the apartment as if it was his own.  
The walls a bit darker than his, wooden floor and the smell.  
The smell of her.  
Gun powder, the slight stench of smoke that he had gotten used to because of himself, the barely recognizable smell of roses and wet dog.  
He sighed.  
He shouldn’t be doing this.  
He most definitely shouldn’t be doing this.  
Anything of the kind never played out well in the army. But it had been long enough. Enough skirting around each other as if they didn’t know. As if they weren’t aware of the other’s feelings. It was more than obvious to every person around them.  
Even Edward had asked and teased him about this.  
He took off his military coat and hung it on one of the guns.  
He didn’t want to see any arms today, anything that could hurt.  
Pulling off his gloves, he sat down on the sofa. It did feel weird to wait for her.  
Overall, he had expected to wait for her in front of her door, but said door had not been locked, so he might as well make himself comfortable. He knew that this was absolutely not a rational decision.  
But she had been the first woman he wanted to spend his life and grow old with.   
Suddenly, the door opened, the person he knew all too well stumbled in and stopped mid-track.  
She didn’t say anything; only a sigh left her mouth when she dropped her shopping bag.  
“Seems like I forgot to lock the do-“  
“Riza.”  
It was only mumbled, had left his tongue before it was even properly formed.  
He wanted to continue saying her name, not ‘Lieutenant’. The distance between them should have been over after all they had gone through in the past.  
If he himself wasn’t that terribly embarrassed about the whole situation, he’d laugh about the red colour spreading across her cheeks.  
He was pretty much sure that he did not look any different.  
“I thought we had agreed on… all of this, Colonel.”  
They had.  
Not verbally, but they had never crossed the line, only ever touched each other’s hands when handing out documents.  
The farthest they had gone was him holding her hand when she had pointed a gun at him and then hugged her.  
Roy had not forgotten that hug ever. God, he was so desperate to just do it again that he had dreamed of just holding her close, having woken up with tears on his eyelashes then.  
He breathed in, not really knowing what to say.  
“Listen, Ri-“  
“Don’t call me this or I might give in and regret it tomorrow morning.”  
Roy got what she was implying there. He got the hint, understood the message of how they would maybe spend a night together and then destroy the rest of their lives.  
“Please just listen to me for once, will you?”  
She shook her head, the honey-blond hair swaying around a little when she did.  
Images from a dream he recently had reappeared in his mind, of his fingers buried in her hair, slowly pulling on it, kneading it-  
“I won’t. Are you drunk or something?”  
It wasn’t as if he didn’t hear this tone of her voice that was so close to breaking and finally giving in.  
“I’m not…”, he had to, now that he had called her that once, he couldn’t stop again, “Riza.”  
A whispered ‘asshole’ was all he got in response, then, in the split of a second, she had walked over to him and pulled him up by his white shirt.  
Riza was calm and reserved most of the time, rational even when she was at the edge of dying, rational when he was so close to being overrun by his emotions.  
Now, though, there were tears in her eyes.   
‘Oh no, I caused her to cry’, he thought to himself, shortly before she let him drop into the sofa again, diverting her gaze to the floor.  
He kept looking at her – the fine composed face, her beautiful eyes, the way her throat slowly curved into her shoulders.  
“I’m so glad I can see.”  
Rational thinking was something that wasn’t possible around her.  
“What are you trying to achieve here, Colonel?”  
“Call me Roy. Please. And please, for the love of god, don’t cry.”  
She sank down next to him, burying her face in her hands, drawing in a shaky breath, the tips of her fingers trembling ever so slightly.  
“I can’t. Why are you making this so hard for us? I can deal with all of this. But not when you call me this or when you are… here or-“  
She stopped again.  
Roy wanted to hold her. She looked so miserable, almost as if she would break apart any moment, as if she would also give in.  
“I’m not making it hard. I want us to…”, her sob interrupted him, made himself tear up a bit, “I just want to hold you close again. And… wake up next to you. The army doesn’t need to know, does it?”  
She pulled her hands away from her face, only to reveal red, puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks, her lips fighting against the smile that wanted to come upon them.  
“They can use this against us.”  
“Envy already did. He literally turned into me just to fool you and he that bastard barely even knew us. That doctor almost killed you because he knew I’d try to resurrect you if you had died in front of me. It won’t be… any different.”  
Her hand on the sofa, right next to his thigh turned itself around, her little finger reached to touch him, but before she could do it, he had already taken her hand into his, slowly wrapping his fingers around it.  
He knew the feeling of warmth spreading through him already. Knew it from the few times they had ended up touching each other on accident.  
But this right here was on full purpose.  
Her fingers were so small, wet from her tears.  
“We can’t give everything that we’ve built up for this, Col-“, another breath, she closed her eyes, “Roy.”  
As soon as the name had rolled of her tongue, he wasn’t able to stand it anymore.  
His eyes seriously started watering, a first tear leaving them, causing him to gasp in shock at himself for being so terribly weak for this woman.  
“Fuck the whole ‘we’ll regret that’ shit, Riza. This feels more right than anything else I’ve ever done in my life. It’s either all or nothing by now. And I-“, his voice broke, “don’t care about anything else. I need you. I need all of you, do you understand? I can’t bother to care about the stupid army anymore when you’re right in front of me. When you’ve been right in front of me for years, so close but yet out of reach and-“  
“Stop talking”, she muttered, clenching her own fingers around his, clinging to him, “I’m here. We are here. And… really. I can’t keep this up anymore, either. I just want… you. I want everything. If you don’t hold me tonight, I’m going to fall apart. If you don’t just stay with me, I’m going to-“  
“Stop talking yourself, idiot”, he pressed out, then he let go of her hand to be able to wrap his arms around her and pull her close.  
The first goal of the evening was making her stop crying.   
It was his fault, after all.  
“Roy”, she sobbed, burying her face in his shoulder, her nails digging into his back.  
This was what he had wanted.  
To hear his name from her.  
“When I went blind, my first thought was about how I was never going to see you again. But here you are. And well, I don’t really see you, but I definitely saw you crying again. I take back what I said. I don’t want to see you crying at all.”  
She clung to him, pressed her body against his own, her hair tickled his adam’s apple.  
That was where they both belonged. Into each other’s arms; after all those years of being apart from each other even though they had been so close at the same time.  
“You’re an idiot. You’re such a fucking idiot”, she sobbed, he couldn’t do more than nod and smell her hair, “I hate you so much! Damnit… Roy…!”  
It hurt hearing her like this.  
“You said you’d follow me into hell, it’s your own damn fault.”  
And still, he couldn’t quite stop teasing her.  
“I swear, I’m going to kill you if you don’t stop talking shit like that right now! You made me cry, so now make me stop crying!”  
“I feel like every attempt I’d make at it would make you cry even harder.”  
She giggled, pressed her nose into his shoulder and giggled.  
“Riza, you’re losing your sanity now.”  
“I’ve been waiting years for finally being hugged like this. I may be some kind of badass sniper, but I’m also just a girl.”  
Roy had to smile, he nuzzled against her cheek, breathing in that damned smell again, making him almost intoxicated.  
“I’ve only ever held you like this when you were close to dying. And now you’re not. Please just let us have this now. We deserve it.”  
She nodded again.  
“I wished I could get even closer to you, but it’s not really possible, right?”  
“Didn’t think you’d be this soft towards me as soon as I call you by your name, Riza.”  
“Fuck you. Don’t you get my point, coward? And don’t pretend that you’re not crying.”  
No, he had not gotten her point. It had been way too subtle for his taste, though he could imagine what it was.  
He stroked her hair, then her back.  
“It’s really either all or nothing now, huh? I feel like if I kiss you, there’s no going back anymore.”  
Riza slowly shook her head, distance herself from him a little, snaking her arms around his neck.  
If that was what she wanted, he would do it.  
Give in to everything that had built up between them for the past years.   
“You’ve already said it, Col- Roy. Nothing will change. Everyone around us knows anyways and we can just keep pretending that this right here never happened. Just don’t say my actual name at work and we’ll be fine.”  
Her eyes were still red, still wet, her lips still quivering.  
Roy forgot how to resist.  
He put his hands around her waist, slowly drawing her closer to him until she sat in his lap.   
“You keep still now”, he said, she giggled again, a sound that he had never heard before, “you always take care of me, so I’ll take care of you now. No complaints.”  
“Didn’t want to complain. I totally agree with this, Colonel.”  
He leaned in slowly, carefully as to not surprise her, to take in the moment he had waited for so long.   
He felt her breath on his cheeks, wiped away a tear with his finger.  
He was really holding her and going to kiss her.  
“If you want me to stop, just say so.”  
“This won’t happen, but I appreciate that.”  
“Call me Roy, not Colonel.”  
“Fuck, Roy, just kiss me.”  
“I’m going to do both if that’s ok.”  
She smiled and Roy kissed her smiling lips, felt his heartbeat speed up almost immediately.  
Her lips were soft, compared to her fingers rough from holding guns. They were so soft he melted into them when they started moving against each other, when her hand already made its way below his shirt.  
Really, they both had waited too long.  
For a few minutes there was only the sound of their lips breaking apart and then reconnecting, both having their eyes closed to take in the feeling of actually kissing the person they had loved for years.  
Her hand was just resting against his skin, massaging it every time their kisses grew more intense.  
“Riza”, he whispered after a few more kisses, “I know that I don’t have to say it, but…”  
“Hm? What’s the talking for, now? Can’t we just go on and take the next step or what-“  
“I love you.”  
Everything inside of him screamed to finally touch her like he had always wanted to, to make love to her in the best way possible, but he found that when she flinched and sobbed into his neck, he simply couldn’t do more than unbutton her shirt and neatly place it next to them.  
“Are you trying to kill me today or what? I know you wanted to see me cry, but not like this! I fucking… hate you!”  
He doubted the last sentence when she pressed herself into him once again, kissed him again.  
He drew lines on her back where he thought the tattoo was, felt the scar of the skin he had burnt away to make it disappear.   
Without another thought, he clicked open her bra and let it slide off her shoulders.  
“You’re so beautiful, Riza”, he whispered again, taking off his own shirt just to finally be skin to skin with her.  
“If you don’t touch me right now, I’ll probably die”, she said, hugging him again, again, again.  
Roy was way too done with everything to leave her hanging on this.   
“Stay still, then. I’ll be careful.”  
Feeling her naked skin against his chest was already more than enough.   
“Roy. I’ve dreamed of this. It probably won’t take me… long.”  
He felt himself blush like a teenage boy who was going to have his first time. Of course Riza was open to him. That was the whole point of this thing he was doing here. Finally being open about their feelings to each other.  
“That’s ok. Don’t worry. We can repeat this as often as you want to.”  
She laughed into his neck, didn’t flinch even once when his hands reached her hips.  
“Can you say it again? Please.”  
There were still tears in her voice. Roy drew little circles on her hipbones, then closer to the middle, she shuddered just from this touch.  
“What exactly?”  
“That you…”, her voice stopped working when he opened the button of her pants.  
“Ah”, he said, looking into her eyes again, “I love you, Riza.”  
It felt good, just saying those words that had been stuck in his throat for years, every time she had saved him, every time he had saved her.  
She closed her eyes, leaning in for another kiss, her fingers sneaking below the waistband of his pants, clinging to them as if they were her dear life.  
Her lips were just being placed against his, they tasted like salt because of all the tears.  
“Roy.”  
He was not used to hearing his own name from her, but it almost sounded like a melody.  
“I… love you too.”  
Four words, nothing more than those four words and yet, he felt like he was going blind again, like he was getting sucked through that portal again.  
“Riza-“  
“Please. Please touch me.”  
They would never go back to normal after this. Never. He couldn’t imagine calling her ‘Lieutenant’ ever again.  
Part of him wanted to care, but right now, he couldn’t give a shit about it.  
“Tell me if it hurts.”  
She nodded, buried her face in his shoulder, started trembling when his fingers made their way up her clothed thighs, stopping just before touching her where she wanted it, drawing cirlces.  
He wanted to enjoy this.  
Her breath hitched in her throat when his fingertips dipped into her panties just to go back again, leaving her frustrated, but he wanted her to always remember this.  
“Roy… you’re an asshole.”  
“Sssh, keep quiet. Or actually, don’t.”  
“I’m not much of a moaner, though.”  
Now it was his turn to laugh, take her by the waist and push her away a little to be able to pull her pants down as much as he needed.  
“Shit, you’re so beautiful and I mean it. This isn’t your first time, right?”  
She shook her head now, breathing in shakily when his fingers made their way down her belly.  
“Just some men in the hope that I would be able to forget you. I gave it up after four of them, though. I accidentally said ‘Colonel’ once. That was awkward.”  
Roy didn’t really want to think about other men seeing her like this. No, she had most probably not allowed them to take off her shirt. And she probably hadn’t clung to them like she did now.  
“Now you can say my name without it getting awkward. Riza.”  
He couldn’t stop saying those four letters.  
Her fingers against his back were trembling too, his crotch hurt way more than he had expected it too, he pushed his own fingers between her legs, drawing circles there now, making her breathing uneasy.  
She was wet already. He felt it against his skin, felt her hips bucking into his hand.  
How long had she really waited for this? How often had she dreamed of this?  
“S-sorry”, she mumbled between unsteady breaths, sucking in air hastily, “I just-“  
It was only a quiet sob, high-pitched, he only heard it because her mouth was right next to her ear.  
But it surely made him feel more certain of what he was doing there.  
He slowly pushed one finger into her, felt how hot and tight she was from just those few touches.  
“Stay with me”, he said, idly thinking that him ordering her around would never really leave their relationship.  
And maybe, just maybe, he liked that thought a lot.  
“How am I supposed to-“, her voice was breaking away into another one of those sobs that he was sure he was the first to hear, “do this?”  
He added another finger, slowly pushing it deeper inside her, then pressing it towards himself.   
He didn’t need moans to assure that he was doing well – her arching back and fluttering eyelids he was able to see when she fell back into the cushions were more than enough to make clear that she liked this.  
“Just hold on a little longer for me, yeah?”  
He leaned down, kissing her, repeating the motion slowly at first, paying attention to not driving her over the edge she clearly was on.  
“I can’t”, she was still sobbing, crying, tears were slowly running out of her eyes, “Roy, seriously, I can’t…!”  
Her hips were bucking into his movements, her nails digging into his skin, then slipping down his back, towards his hips, cupping his crotch through his pants.  
“Fuck, Riza.”  
He thought that he was able to see a little smile on her face, but it shattered in the next moment.  
“Say my name”, Roy instructed, once again, feeling how her feather-like touch did things to him that he hadn’t even been able to imagine just a few minutes ago.  
It wasn’t hard to notice when she came – her whole body went rigid, trembled against his fingertips stroking her even when she clenched around him.  
Not much of a moaner?  
His name was basically a melody when she said it in a voice that he would never be able to forget again.  
Some seconds after, her hand dropped back from him, instead found his, intertwining their fingers.  
“Shit, let me catch my breath”, she said, still smiling, but having stopped crying now.  
“We don’t need to-“  
“You’re such a fool if you think one time is enough for me, Roy.”


End file.
